by Ross Sharp

Oh, for fuckity-fuck-fuck’s fucking sake, why don’t they just call the fucking thing “Cream Cheese Vegemite” and be fucking done with it?!?!

I swear to Christ, the older I get, the more I see shit like this dressed up and presented as some sort of news of fucking import, makes me hope I die in my fucking sleep every time I go to fucking bed.

It’s black shit in a fucking jar with yellow shit mixed in and you fucking eat it, that’s all.

The fuck should anyone fucking care?

Jesus fucking Christ.

Please kill me.