“NEW MOON” – WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT

by Ross Sharp

I haven’t the foggiest.

Manohla Dargis reviews it for The New York Times.

I took the liberty of plucking a few key words and phrases from Dargis’s review in an effort to understand the peculiar appeal of this series …

… big tease … a teenage girl … sparkly vampire … pretty … chaste … moody …

… love is cruel … Abstinence … bared male chests … feverish pleading …

… ravish young virgins … nuzzle their flesh … less-repressed … frenzy …

… men can be brutes … darkly brooding looks … blindingly white smile …

… some massive biceps … big muscles … exposing … palpable hunger … ravenous female appetite … grows harder and harder … Bella’s widening … appreciative gaze …

… hormonally revved-up … Chastity … hot … violated …

… weeping and dolorous gazes … cruel eyes … an underage dominatrix … the darker side of desire …

I understand now.

I’d rather deep-fry my own testicles and feed them to squirrels than watch this.

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