by Ross Sharp


A gerbilist is an erstwhile journalist whose prime modus operandi is to load each and every “article” they write with links to other journalists with whom they agree on pretty much everything and who, in turn, agree with them. Gerbilists do not generally quote from, or link to, those journalists who pose a contrary point of view to their own.

Gerbilists produce “gerbilism”, a style of abstract typing that, when recognised, immediately puts the reader in mind of brown noses, small furry animals wrapped in duct tape, ferris wheels and speech impediments.

Example No.1–

The gerbilist praises itself for finding another gerbilist in agreement, and says as much …

There was no real Julia

Janet Albrechtsen agrees:

Gillard has become the casebook study of how to shrink in the job as PM

Example No.2 –

This is when a gerbilist disappears up their own arsehole by linking to other gerbilists who say warm and runny things about them …

Lose some, win some

I wish I could persuade Joel Silver to read my columns, but luckily I’ve still got my TV show.

Gerbilists are like the Human Centipedes of news media, forever defecating in each other’s cakeholes and then chewing with their mouths open in public.