BILLIONS AND BILLIONS AND BILLIONS!

by Ross Sharp

Tony Abbott: Aliens! Look! In the sky! Aliens!

Reporter: They’re birds, Tony.

Tony Abbott: NO! NO! I’m telling you those are aliens! Aliens coming to our planet, alarmed by the carbon tax and its implications for alien life throughout the universe!

Reporter: Birds, Tony.

Tony Abbott: ALIENS! Those! Are! Aliens! … One hundred billion aliens all headed our way, all headed our way because of this tax, this bad tax from the Gillard government, those aliens are coming here, they’re on their way now, they’re coming right now, pissed off and hungry and armed with baseball bats for anal probes and we’re all gonna be buggered for the rest of posterity, just you wait and see! And posterity is a bloody long time!

Reporter: Alright Tony. Have it your way. Aliens.

And so, later that very night …

ABC Radio: The Federal Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, said today that the Gillard Government’s planned carbon tax will dramatically increase the risk of an alien invasion of earth and the buggering-in-perpetuity of all humanity with very big sticks.

And so it continues to go …

Exhausting, isn’t it?

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