by Ross Sharp

“We need two boxes of window-faced envelopes. Can you place an order please?”, she tells the stationery clerk.

“What do you need them for?”, comes the response.


“ ? ”


” … Are there other envelopes you could use? Old ones? Plain-faced? We have plenty of plain-faced.”

“No, we need window-faced.”

“Because we have cost contingencies to consider bef – ”

“Listen to me”, she says, “I am not going to type up labels for paperwork that already has an address on it and has been designed to fit in window-faced, understand?”

“I’ll have to ch – “

Listen to me”, she says again, “The difference in cost of window-faced to plain-faced is probably a half-dozen bucks or so, yes? I get paid thirty-five dollars an hour. I can spend one hundred and five dollars of the company’s money to sit on my arse and type labels so the company can save twelve bucks on a couple boxes of envelopes? Are you familiar with arithmetic? Does that make sense to you? Do we have a fight now, shall we have an argument?”

“I – “

Order. The fucking. Envelopes. Today. Got it?”


“Thank you.”

These …

… the days of our lives.

Oh, Death …