MEDIA DEATHWATCH

by Ross Sharp

All weekend, and now, every hour and every half-hour comes the “news” that Nelson Mandela is still not dead.

His condition is “unchanged”.

He is unwell, but not dead.

The obituaries and supplement feature articles have already been written, the colour double-page wraparound memorial issues have already been set, the online galleries collated and film tributes compiled, and it is as if, lacking any information of any use whatsoever, much of the world’s media, or the tackiest of them, can think of nothing better to do than hover over an elderly man’s sick bed waiting for him to pop his clogs so they can be first in with the “exclusives”.

His condition is “unchanged”.

When his condition does change, for better or for worse, that will be “news”.

Until then, and maybe it’s just me, I feel it would be a mark of respect to a man so very much deserving of it, that the mewling ghouls of the media news cycle just shut the fuck up and talk about something else for a while.

Nelson Mandela is still not dead.

We heard you the first time.

SHUT. UP.

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