by Ross Sharp


When I wish to learn about a thing, I will seek out the teachings of those who have not only learnt that thing, but made it their career, perhaps their entire life’s work.

By communicating their teachings via whatever medium they offer and I choose to engage with, I may be informed on that thing, but it does not make me an expert on it.

It makes me a layman, or layperson if you want to be fussy, and I may have a few thoughts and theories of my own about this thing that I have learnt, but these are not expert thoughts and theories, just random interpretations of random bits of information rolling about my mind like little woody tumbleweeds stuck with beetle dung.

I am an expert in my own field of work, having done it for roughly 35 years now*, so if somebody who has not done this type of work tries to tell me how to do it and according to what rules, I will not so politely tell them to shut up and go fuck themselves with 40 sticks, maybe even a mallet.

This is not arrogance. It is confidence. I know what I am doing and how to do it.

I’d want to after 35 years.

Which leads me to this …

I am fed up to the bloody back teeth with stupid people talking nonsense about things they know nothing of.

I am fed up to the bloody back teeth being expected to admit the nonsense these stupid people are talking is not in fact stupid, but an alternative opinion or approach, and they have every right to talk this nonsense because freedom of speech leftie intellectual elitist oppression..

Which leads me to this …

Christopher Pyne has a Bachelor of Laws, was once President of Adelaide University Liberal Club, a research assistant to Senator Amanda Vanstone, President of the South Australian Young Liberals, and began practising as a solicitor in 1991. He was Shadow Education minister for 5 years. During this time, he asked only 3 questions in parliament, developed no education policy, and was expelled from Parliament a record 26 times for being “unruly”.

Why is he a “Federal Education Minister”?

Because fuckedifiknow.

Christopher Pyne is an elite repository of a very special kind of stupid. I mean this in the most literal sense. That his is an uninvolved, uncomplicated and base intelligence, frozen in adolescence and improbable ideologies, moved to childish taunts and giggles at fart noises, convinced he possesses talents he does not, and intent upon unleashing those “talents” as he, and only he sees fit in areas he has no experience in, or knowledge of whatsoever.

We get this

The federal education minister says he is too busy to sit down with an expert panel and have its needs-based school funding model explained to him.”

Then this …

I am the national Education Minister, there needs to be a national model that is fair to all states and territories and that is equitable to students and that is what we will achieve.””

Then this …

The Abbott government has performed another U-turn on school funding, indicating it will substantially retain Labor’s Gonski-inspired model over the next four years.

Pyne, who last week said the Labor model was “unimplementable” and flagged the development of a new model to apply after next year, now says the Coalition has “no plan to alter the way that the model will be delivered in the signatory states into the future”.”

The man is a complete fucking idiot.

I have no qualms in encouraging the career aspirations of eager little fellas like Christopher, but if you want to be an astronaut, you can’t just whack a suit on and jump into a rocketship and off to Mars without putting an awful lot of work into it first, and knowing a whole bunch of things about space and planets and science and facts and shit.

If Christopher wants to pass his exams, he needs to pull his tightly-coiffed head out his tidy little arse and start paying attention to the grown-ups in this world, or he’ll find himself not just spending a whole heap of time in the naughty corner, but getting his head repeatedly dunked into the dunnies by the senior boys at break until he learns to fucking well behave.