A young woman sits in the smokers’ area outside the building. She hunches over her mobile phone, her knees drawn up almost to her chin, her body a tightly wound coil of defensiveness. As I pace the area, sucking smoke from a cigarette, I overhear her say …
” … nothing happened to you. You happened to them.”
I pace away. I pace back.
Then this …
” … because he feels unwanted. And unloved by everyone.”
Early Sunday afternoon, the bar of the local.
Barmaid looks up, says, “Sorry love, you’re not allowed to be here, you’ve been banned for 12 months, last night”, and she looks past my shoulder to a woman who has been stopped in her tracks by this news, news she cannot appear to recall.
She might be in her early 50’s, more likely her late ‘30’s, she has a face that’s seen more punches than caresses, a body no one ever looked at with fondness and no one ever will, but one that more than likely got done over whenever the urge took someone, one of the boys back “home”, don’t mind her, she don’t, she ain’t none too bright, that one.
“ … wha’?”, she stutters.
“That’s just what they tell me Jane, I don’t know, but you’re banned, you can’t be here.”
“Whafor?”
“I don’t know, love, that’s what management tell me, you have to leave.”
“But we was just talkin’.”
“Sorry, love.”
And there’s an awkward silence for a minute or so, I look down at the bar, a little embarrassed, I find myself hoping a scene does not take place.
“I’m sorry, love”, says the barmaid again.
“What about me friends?”, says the banished woman, “All me friends’re here … “
“I’m sorry, Jane. But you can’t be here.”
“Where’m I gonna go? … I don’t know any … “, and she trails off, just standing there looking down at the floor for what seems a very long, long moment.
Then she turns to face the exit and she says, as much to herself as anyone else, “Alright, then. Alright, then. Alright, I’ll be alright. That’s okay … I’m sorry, love … I’m sorry … Alright, alright then, I’ll go, I’ll go. Sorry, love, I’m sorry … “, and she leaves the room, leaves the hotel.
And goes home, to wherever or whatever that may be.
Banned from the pub for a year.
At least they were paying attention.
SMELLY TONGUES 