Are you mental, mad, is there a screw loose on your cupboard door, a plank missing from your deck, a wheel off your trolley?
Are you overly fond of cats, and do you carry big wads of crumpled newspapers around with you in plastic bags?
Throw away those pills! Cancel that therapy!
Our Federal Social Services Minister has found the simple solution to your sorrows…
Now, if that doesn’t work, sure as shit nothing will, so you may as well face up to it and hang yourself from the living room light fitting, you fucking loser.